XVI The Tower

September 7th, 2024

why is grief only reserved for the dead?
isn't grief just a nostalgic yearning for a past you no longer have? wishing you could go back to something that is no longer there?
why is loss only death, and the dead can't still be living?

fallout is death. the tower is true death. They fell with the tower.
how strange it must be to grieve someone alive.

you'll never see Them again.
They're still going to school in georgia.

you named Them.

you'll never see Them again, never speak to Them again.
you drove Them away.
did you drive Them to death?

They probably have a partner by now, somewhere in the georgian swamp.
do They miss you?
do They grieve you the same way you grieve Them?

do They act like you're dead?
do They tell everyone you're dead and buried in the same way that you do?

do they know its easier to say you lost someone and that you still mourn than to explain that you aren't friends anymore.

that it's easier than explaining that you grieve Them in the same way a widow grieves,
that your heart aches like a breakup.

that its easier than explaining that They tossed you aside like a broken doll,
that you hadn't 'changed' enough
and They got bored of you and your daily drivel.

do they know that it's easier to say you miss the dead than explaining that you miss the living?
that it's easier to explain that you lost a best friend?

you named Them and They tossed you aside.
you named Them and They tossed the name aside.
you named Them and They left without a seconds thought.
you named Them and you still grieve the living dead.
you named Them and They fell with the tower.

you named Them.
and They left.